Life Needs Structure, Too.

ADDENDUM: Wednesday isn’t listed in the graphic below because I, well, forgot to include it! But Wednesdays are Family Dinner Nights after work, so not much can happen anyway.

What does a lack of structure say about one’s insecurities?

One would think that, after years of working retail and food service, I’d realize I need structure. I graduated college in 2011, and from high school in 2006. Back then I was happy living only by my work schedule. I didn’t (and still don’t) have my own family unit to manage. There were no more papers to write or deadlines to meet with homework. I also wasn’t happy after 2011. Sure, there’s a certain number of insecurities that are still present. But I firmly believe that, because of a lack of structure and drive throughout my late twenties, I am where I am today.

Bored with life.

This particular blog post got deep real fast, didn’t it?

Confession: I’m not proud of many of the decisions I’ve made over the past ten years. Most of my mistakes were financial in nature, and a few health issues arose due to the situation(s) I put myself in. This isn’t something that’s easy for me to speak on, so I’ll say this last piece on it: I am still privileged. I don’t use that term lightly. While I’m still near the poverty line attempting to pay off hospital bills and all that jazz, I have a roof over my head, parents who love me,

What’s the best decision I’ve ever made? Dipping a toe into storytelling.

And this is where things got crazy.

Not only did I lack a certain level of confidence to actually put words on a page, I spent the latter years of the 2010 decade researching. While I learned a whole lot about my subject matter, created characters based off real life folks, and started this blog, I still barely got those words out. I love blaming it all on my uncanny ability to procrastinate, but it reality it was zero self esteem, zero confidence, and zero structure.

“What are you going to do moving forward along this path to possible publication?” you ask.

“I’m a ‘plotter,’ not a ‘pantser,’ so it’s time to make a plan! I need a plan.” *searches other blogs for inspiration. “Okay. none of that looked write for me. I’ll make my own, then!”

Let’s go back to this post’s original thesis statement:

What does a lack of structure say about one’s insecurities?

I know this is going to take time. Change isn’t an easy thing for me. But this reevaluation was necessary if I want to reach my goal of becoming a published author by 2025. I’m taking back my narrative, working on my insecurities, and now I’ve got a plan to help with all that.

Because stories aren’t the only things to need a plan.

Life needs structure, too.